To start coping with divorce it is essential to tell ourselves that the pain and anxiety will soon melt away, that our fears will also flee and our situation will get better with time. Positive self-talk is crucial to feeling more confident about our decisions and actions but many a time, divorced people lie to themselves and her are the top things that can put one on a path to misery.
- I don’t care about my ex anymore.
The fact is that you do. You will always are for that person who was once a special someone in your life even if you have drifted apart now.
- I don’t want to be away from my kids.
You don’t always want to be with your kids. Sometimes, you need a break from your kids even if you love spending time with them. Being able to spend more time with adults your own age can be therapeutic and you need to enjoy your life. Being happy will also make you a better parent.
- I don’t ever want to start dating again and never want to marry again.
While you definitely don’t feel like dating after divorce, you might want to someday. You will know when the right person comes along. You are human and you need love to live.
- My ex is going to regret letting me go.
The mature thing to do is to accept reality. The other person has also been part of the decision (unless you initiated and pushed for the divorce). It really doesn’t make a difference now who is right or wrong – just focus on the situation you are in.
- I can no longer be happy because I need to be in a relationship to be happy.
Fact is, that for you to be happy you need to be in a fulfilling relationship. Remember that when you were married you had both good and bad times. So it is going to be with any relationship you are in. Also, reminiscing about the relationships from both angles will give you a wholesome picture that will reinforce the reason for getting the divorce in the first place.